New Music Clips Up, Gig At The Cellar This Sunday, and The Stupidest Dream I’ve Ever Had

Several months ago I received some complaints about the fact that you can’t hear me solo on any of my song clips on the music page. That’s right, one would actually have to purchase the song to hear any more than a minute or two of melody. The gall! How could I have been so bone-headed?! That’s gonna run at least $0.99! I mean WTF!?

Well your voices have been heard my frugal friends! You will wait no longer as I have re-edited all my clips to include some soloing as well. No, I’m afraid you don’t get the whole song for free, I don’t give it up that easy! Maybe I’m just holding on to a vestige of hope that music is still worth something, or maybe I’m just a tease. You be the judge.

Moving on, I’ll be in Oak Bay this weekend celebrating the birthday of one Mr. Dr. Chops Grande (hint: he’s on track 2 of my last CD) so if you’re reading this on Saturday morning then you can bet I’m still asleep right now, or having a Gatorade/Advil breakfast, … or still drinking Booker’s bourbon. It could go either way really.

After I’ve recovered however, I’ll be back in town on Sunday, March 29th and ready to nap have brunch swing at the Cellar with Cory Weeds and the Tony Foster Trio. Brunch starts anytime after 11:30am, show starts at 12:30pm, click here for brunch prices, directions, etc. It’s going to be a fun, swingin’ affair.

Now for those of you wondering Why the ham sandwich? It has to do with a dream I had just the other night, it was the kind of dream that could make your brain come to a screeching halt, or at the very least deal a crushing blow to ones IQ. It went something like this, …

I was in some park in Vancouver, it was a beautiful sunny day and I thought it’d be a great day to go visit the Museum of Anthropology. So I walk to a nearby gondola station where I plan to conveniently take the gondola to the Museum.

Sounds pleasant enough doesn’t it? Well, this is where it takes a turn…

Once inside this very drab, modern looking station I’m directed by the station attendant to a very small door in one of the walls. And instead of leading to a nice, comfortable gondola, I crouch down and enter through this door into a small metal container just large enough for one to sit in. The metal container is closed, everything goes black, and then my container is pushed down a series of staircases. Or at least, that’s what it feels like, I still can’t see anything.

I arrive at the next station like used linens thrown down a laundry shute, get out of the box, and then have to go through security. Only I’m so dizzy from the “ride” that I can barely talk to this East Indian security guard who approaches me, (hey, can I help it if my dreams include some stereotypes?). Quite suspicious of me, the guard asks to go through my back pack where he finds a plastic bag of some ham sandwiches I made.

“Why are you carrying hamburgers? I need to see some identification.” he says.

“Um, they’re not hamburgers. They’re just some ham sandwiches I made.” I reply.

“It is illegal to take hamburgers into the museum. Do you really realize what a serious offense this is?”

“No, I don’t. But it doesn’t matter because they’re ham sandwiches, I just used hamburger buns to make them.”

“I don’t think you realize what you’ve done. We’re going to have to record this hamburger offense on your file.”

It went on, and on, AND ON! And if I typed out the entire argument, you’d be reading this news post for the next hour. He just didn’t get it! Finally, after going around in circles with this guy for what felt like an eternity, I’m screaming at him like I’ve never screamed before in my life:

“YOU THINK THEY’RE HAMBURGERS BECAUSE THEY HAVE A ROUNDED BUN, BUT THEY’RE NOT!! THEY’RE JUST SANDWICHES, WITH HAM IN THEM!! DON’T YOU F%@$!# GET IT?! IN ORDER TO BE HAMBURGERS, THEY’D HAVE TO HAVE SOME SORT OF FRIED OR GRILLED BEEF IN THEM!!!”

I believe it was at this point that the left side of my brain looked at the right side and said “It’s dark in here,… and we may die.” And so I woke up, sifting through my dream induced rage, until I could only laugh at my own idiocy.

Thanks for reading and have a great week!

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