My History Of Not Buying iPods, A Virgin Twitterer

Hello, good morning and welcome to the Saturday Morning News Post.

Readers, I never understood the iPod phenomena. Having invested in hundreds of compact discs and a joggable discman (with G Shock Protection no less) I thought I was set for life. So when Steve Jobs announced the toy that’d put “1,000 songs in your pocket,” I recognized it for what it clearly was, a passing fad.

Fast forward one year later and all my friends had succumbed to the iPod allure. So I conceded that the iPod fad might last a bit longer than I predicted but I still didn’t buy in though because my job required me to be surrounded by music most of the time anyways. As a professional jazz musician, owning an iPod is like wearing pants during the day,… simply not necessary!

Although my “passing fad” forecast was a bit off, my next prediction in 2002 was bang on. Seeing all my friends carrying their cell phones and an iPod I declared “That’s silly, Apple’s just going to make an “iPod Phone” and render all iPods obsolete.”

Okay, so maybe I wasn’t “bang on” but hey, “iPod Phone” would’ve been a catchy name, no?

And so I trodded on with the discman, my round badge of resentment, waiting for Apple to catch up with my brilliant ideas. When the announcement of the iPhone hit the cover of TIME Magazine I laughed, my time was coming…

… turned out my time was going to take a bit longer than anticipated as the phones weren’t available in China at first (where I was living at the time) and then I was on the road, and then I was pretty much broke for a year and reluctant to make any kind of commitment, never mind a bank breaking 3 year contract with Rogers, etc, etc…

Finally, I moved to Montreal almost a month ago without a cell phone and moved into a place without internet or a land line. It was just me, alone with my thoughts, and I was beginning to feel like my beloved G-Shock Protection discman would never see a comeback. Being that disconnected was staggering, crippling almost; it was like living in the second half of Will Smiths “I Am Legend” movie, I was alone, the last of my kind, just me and wild Lions running free in the streets. … Awful.

So I fell. And when I fall, I fall hard. Which is why now,…

I’VE GOT AN IPHONE BITCHES!!!

That’s right, from the depths of isolation to the heights of connectivity, the Fido contracts were signed and the bills are now flowing in. Hooray!

But am I stopping there? Oh no I’m not! I’m going to take this new toy of mine and use it to get started with yet another “passing fad”: Twitter

As part of my long-term devoted effort to pay rent reach my fans, I’m going to start twittering,… TODAY!

(*Note to Biz Stone: you may want to think about selling your stocks sometime soon as history proves that my hesitant arrival to any media bandwagon usually signals the end of the bell curve when everyone else is moving on to the “next big thing.” I am the jazz clarinet-ing harbinger of death to popular forms of media.)

My Twitter address is http://twitter.com/JamesDanderfer and yes, my profile picture is a little birdy,… I’m going to fix that.

So follow me! I have no idea what I’m supposed to write about but,… follow me anyways!

Thanks for reading and have a great everybody!

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